How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I recently finished reading this book for my MayTerm class in college. The class is one about education, but each of our four groups was assigned a book that was not necessarily about education that we were to read and relate back to our class as well as to teaching in general.

This book was a self-help book, and it made some great points. I didn't necessarily teach me anything "new," but it made me more conscious of some of the things I already knew about handling people.

The four sections included: 3 ways to , 6 ways to , 12 ways to , and 9 ways to .

Most of them were fairly self-explanatory, and whether they were or not there were plenty of examples. I liked that not all of the examples were centered around the business world (even though the courses Mr. Carnegie taught in New York in conjunction with this book were centered around the business world). He included examples of how to apply these principles as an educator, as a parent, and in life in general. Sometimes he used examples that were better understood by an adult, and sometimes he used examples that even I child would have understood. Two "child" examples stick out in my mind, so I would like to share them with you. The first was under a principle entitled "Arouse in the other person a want." Carnegie's example was that if you go fishing, you have to make the fish want the bait you are using. As the fisherman, you may love strawberries and cream, and so if someone were trying to lure you in that could be something they would use. A fish, on the other hand, does not want strawberries and cream, they want a worm, and so when you are fishing, you have to use what the fish wants in order to lure him in, not what you want! Another example was an Aesop fable that went with the principle "Smile." Smiling is a great way to make friends, and here is how the story goes (in my own wording because I don't have the book in front of me). The sun and the wind were talking up in the sky and the wind challenged the sun saying, "See that old man down there? I bet I can get his jacket off of him quicker than you can!" The sun accepted the challenge and went behind a cloud so that the wind might go first. The wind blew as strong and as hard as he could, and while the old man's coat blew in the wind, the harder the wind blew, the tighter the old man wrapped the coat around him. Finally the wind gave up and let the sun have a turn. The sun came out from behind the cloud and smiled at the old man. Gently giving of it's light and warmth. The old man, wiped the sweat from his brow and took his jacket off, draping it over his arm and smiling up at the sun. And the sun told the wind that it was much easier to get what you want with gentleness and kindness, and than with force.

Anyway, point being, this was a great book, and even if you're not into self-help books (I never have been) it is still a good read and it goes fairly quickly. There were a few too many stories at times, but I had the opportunity to read it. Not only do I see it's lessons helping me in my teaching, but also in my relationships with other people in my life. Some of these principles can even be used with strangers on the street, or with a next door neighbor, or with a spouse/significant other or children.